A Solemn Experience

Hello Everyone!

So now it’s Saturday evening and I wanted to write a little bit about the experience I had this morning. Ten of us from the service-learning course attended a funeral for the mother of two of our students. She was hit by a car last Friday while crossing the road, which is a fairly common occurrence in and around Lynedoch. When we heard about this on Monday, one of my friends who has this woman’s son in her class asked about the services and whether or not it would be appropriate for some of us to attend. Grant and the principal, Mr. Jansen, felt it would be a very nice gesture if some of us wanted to go support the family, but they didn’t pressure us at all to attend. Some of my classmates were very apprehensive about going because they weren’t sure how the family and friends of this woman would feel if strangers showed up at the funeral. I was a little uneasy about it at first, but I decided to put my trust in Grant and Mr. Jansen because I know they are both professional and respectful people who wouldn’t put us in an awkward situation.

So we collected R2 from each of our classmates yesterday and I went out and bought some flowers for the family. My classmate Paula, who is from Germany, took the extra money and used it to bake banana bread and buy fruit for the children. We were picked up this morning my Mr. Jansen and another man at 7:30am and they drove us to the farm. When we arrived we had only just gotten out of the cars when Mr. Jansen informed us that we were at the wrong funeral and the correct one was just around the corner. This immediately brought to life everything Grant had taught us about how accustomed to pain and death this community is. After arriving at the correct home we were introduced to the woman’s husband and Mr. Jansen explained to him, in Afrikaans, that we work with his children (who are in grades 8 and 4). At this point I was wondering what everyone else at the funeral thought of our presence because none of them knew who we were or where we came from. I was also thinking about the terrible living conditions on this farm, as it was far worse than Kathleen’s farm that we visited yesterday. Next to the homes were ditches where the people dumped their garbage, and the wind blew the smell of trash around. The most striking thing about the conditions was the amount of flies everywhere. If you stood still for 5 seconds there would be 10 flies on your body, so everyone was fanning themselves with the bulletin that was handed out beforehand. I cannot imagine having to deal with the smell and the flies on a daily basis.

Soon after arriving we went into the home where the service was being held. The coffin was in the living room and Mr. Jansen explained that we just circle it once and exit the room. Afterwards we all stood outside with many other people from the community as family and friends gathered inside to sing and pray. Many of the Lynedoch students were there and one girl from my 6th grade class, Abigail, came over and gave me a hug. I also got to meet the father of a boy Adrian who is in my class. His dad, Abram, spoke very little English and I was sad that I couldn’t communicate more with him. But he was able to tell me that Adrian is not very clever and is often naughty. When I told him that I thought his son was a good boy his face absolutely lit up. He just kept saying, “Adrian, he’s my boy, that’s my boy, and you’re his teacher.” It was easy to see that he’s quite proud of his son, even if he can cause trouble at home.

After a great deal of singing and praying inside the home, the pastor asked Mr. Jansen to go in and explain to the family and friends why we were there. So he went in and said, in Afrikaans, that we had come from America, Holland, and Germany to study at the University and teach in Lynedoch. He told them that we work with their children each week and that we wanted to come support everyone because we know that losing someone is painful. I was really glad that he got to talk to them because I felt badly that I couldn’t converse with anyone there. After some more singing, Mr. Jansen explained to us that everyone would be walking from the house to the road soon and the family wanted us to lead the processional. At first we were all very confused and apprehensive because this was something totally foreign to us. Why would they want us to do this? I really hoped that it wasn’t because we are all white and they feel like we’re entitled or superior, as Grant had taught us before. Mr. Jansen saw the looks on our faces when he announced this so he explained further. He told us that the family felt honored that people who didn’t even know their wife, mother, and sister would come to mourn with them. Our attendance affirmed their belief that they’re worthy and that this woman’s life was important. So, again, I trusted Mr. Jansen and we led the group up the road. Behind us was the car with the coffin and a car with the immediate family, then following behind them were all the others on foot. We walked from the house to the closest main road within the farm where the farmer was waiting in his big truck. Because very few people have cars, everyone piles into the bed of the farmers truck and he drives them to the cemetery. Once we reached this road we waited for the procession of cars to leave and then we headed back to campus.

The experience was very emotional for all of us. The children of this woman distanced themselves from the home during most of the service which surprised us. Mr. Jansen explained that that’s how many people in this communities deal with pain, by simply not dealing with it. He said that it’s really unfortunate because they never face it and they grow up not feeling and experiencing their emotions. Aside from the obvious sadness that we felt in response to this woman’s death and the hardships her family will undoubtedly face without her, it was also devastating to see the living conditions on this farm. I thought Kathleen’s farm was an unfortunate situation, but it was much better than where we were today. It makes perfect sense to me now why all the children enjoy being at school so much, because their life there is much more comfortable. The thing that troubles me the most about all this is how the farm owners can carry on and continue to exploit these families. They all make millions of dollars each year, many have 4 or 5 houses all over the world, yet they allow their farmers to suffer like this.

Needless to say it was another emotionally draining day, and it wasn’t even 10am yet. From a student’s standpoint it was an interesting cultural experience, certainly one that I will never forget. I’m really glad that the family and friends of this woman weren’t offended by our presence and I hope that we’ll be able to continue offering support to her children in the weeks to come. Lynedoch Primary has also hired two psychologists to remain in contact with the older boy and younger girl for the next 6 months. Sorry for such a long and melancholy post, but I wanted to share this experience because it was emotional and I think there’s a lot to learn from it on many different levels.

I promise my next entry will be more upbeat as we are going to the penguin beach tomorrow!